i think everyone's mother has told them to just be oneself when dating and someone will love us for who we are. easier said than done. ever the crowd pleaser, its easy to figure out what someone else likes and try to be it. the problem is if what someone else wants in a prospective date isnt what one is and one tries to be this just to please the other. not good. its hard being honest and really being oneself. its hard to find out that when one is ones true self someone else may not like them. if things dont work out and one wasnt ones true self it doesnt really soften the blow anyway. not only has one been dumped, but one has been dumped for being someone one never was in the first place.
this is a maxim ive learned long ago, but i still find it a challenge. its hard if im rejected for being my true self, but its equally stinging to be rejected for pretending to be someone im not.
thankfully ive had several relationships with those who have gotten to know the true me so i know that its possible . i also have learned that though things may not have worked out the way i would have wanted them to i realized that my real self is likable. and its so much better to be honestly oneself . acceptance is so important. without it there is no relationship. if one isnt oneself in a relationship one cant be accepted by the other person .
2 comments:
Very true!
I'm the same way, where I like to please others and it makes me wonder if I'm being myself, or what being myself even is.
Strangely though, I found that the previous people I dated I was myself on the first date, and I never went out with them again.
They say that if you like someone then your not going to be yourself, because you want them to like you so your more careful with what you say/do. So with my chosson only by the second to last date did I feel myself acting comfortable and being myself, saying silly things, laughing and having a good time. Then that showed me that the relationship had grew, and it wasn't me being myself with a stranger, but rather with someone I had grown to like.
But back to the topic, yes you should be yourself, and the person will like you for that. Actually "cloudy with a chance of meatballs" does a good job at showing this.
very true
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