in secular culture there is a concept of being "separated" from one's spouse . in orthodox judaism being "separated " means that there was no get given so basicly one is considered married. the only way for an orthodox couple to be separated is if they are divorced.
i would never date a man who has not given his wife a get. the chutzpah of these non-get giving husbands is apalling. the only ones who they are fooling are themselves. that said it is fortunate to be able to see through these these jokers for who they really are so no hearts are broken in vain.