as a single never been married woman i often am rejected on frumster by many divorced men. they often say that they prefer divorced women. i dont usually think much about it, but recently i actually met one of these guys who rejected me because i am not divorced. the sad part is that though he has kids and his profile says he is divorced he is not divorced, yet he has no qualms about rejecting me because im not divorced! he's not divorced either! he never gave his wife a get! im just not divorced because ive never been married! how could he have rejected ME? he is such a loser. i should have been the one rejecting him because he is a dishonorable married man.
in secular culture there is a concept of being "separated" from one's spouse . in orthodox judaism being "separated " means that there was no get given so basicly one is considered married. the only way for an orthodox couple to be separated is if they are divorced.
i would never date a man who has not given his wife a get. the chutzpah of these non-get giving husbands is apalling. the only ones who they are fooling are themselves. that said it is fortunate to be able to see through these these jokers for who they really are so no hearts are broken in vain.
6 comments:
To be fair, there are women who don't give their husbands gets as well...
And it doesn't really make sense, it seems, to date someone who doesn't have a get because there will be a problem for any future children.
it is true that some women dont give their husbands a get, but there is always a heter that they can remarry. for a woman without a get she is chained and cant remarry.
There is? I didn't know that.
in judaism originally a man was allowed to have more than one wife until the takana of rabbenu gershon who said that a man can only have one wife. however a woman was only allowed to be married to one man at a time . this is why if a man's wife wont accept the get he is able to get a heter to get remarried whereas if a woman doesnt have a get from her husband she cant remarry.
That's so wrong. It leaves so many women alone.
i agree.
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