jewish new years greetings

wishing everyone a sweet new year filled with health and happiness and everything good. may we have the strength to daven well and the willpower not to overdo it on the sweets. ok , that last one was directed at me. fortunate for me i like honey but not honey cake ,so the sweets won't be as difficult to resist. looking forward to catching up with all of you next year.

the holiday meltdown

tishrei is the jewish holiday season. when you are single or don't have everything required for a family oriented holiday season the blues can sometimes take over. sometimes the mantra 'well at least i have my health ' isn't sufficient to keep one smiling (though it should be).
if you are waiting for that black swan to appear and change everything in your life and well it doesn't  appear well then we are in the same boat. but this is what i do when the melancholy blues try to take over..... i review this mantra.... life is not fair. it doesn't matter how good you are or how frum you are. life does not always turn out the way you would like it to. it does not mean that one should not be frum since things will not be perfect for you even if you always do the right thing. it just means that we do not understand why things happen  the way they do. things may get better. thing may get worse. its best to focus on the good one has instead of just one what what lacks.
shanah tovah!

down and out

unfortunately i know a lot of people who are going through tough times that have nothing to do with the economy. life has always been tough for these folk and 2011 is no different. people who are down and out tend to be focused inward and they don't give much thought to how they treat others because their woes are so many. i pity them but since im not a licensed professional i find it hard to be around them . i also fear that their melancholy is the type that can bring others down with them. i pity them but not enough to be brought down by their insanity.

all partied out

i like attending parties, i  do not enjoy hosting parties. over the years it has gotten a lot tougher to make a party. or shall we say its gotten a lot tougher for ME to make a party. just thinking about a guest list is exhausting. there is who i want to invite and then there are those i "should" invite for various reasons but don't especially want to invite. after mulling  it over i usually  opt not to make a party.  and so the cycle continues. on the other hand i would not mind helping someone else make a party. i love  bringing a dish or several to help someone else out. i don't even mind bringing the main dish.  i just don't want to get the credit of having called the party my idea. too much pressure.
fortunately i have a tiny apartment so most of the time its a moot point that i don't want to host anything here. after all , my pad is too small. ( oh well!). how convenient.
sometimes i bypass the whole party issue by just inviting one person over for a meal. then if someone else gets wind of it i just say that i only invited one person , no biggie.
its just as well. when someone hosts lots of parties after awhile one starts to wonder if people really like hanging with them or are they so beloved because they host lots of parties.

The Maccabeats - Book of Good Life

they have done it again. its another cutsie parody from the maccabeats and i love it. i also love how its frum but they don't hide the women. there is actually a scene with a couple and they show the women's section in shul .
shanah tovah

the new year

i am so looking forward to the jewish  new year of 5772. i love the idea of new beginnings. if there was a new year every four months or so it would be perfect so long as i didn't get a year older every four months. a birthday every twelve months is my limit.
5771 has been a tough one . for most of the year i was in avaylus (mourning) for  my father and the rest of the year has been exhausting in my working and social life.
anticipation is often more fun than reality. this is why i am actively anticipating the new year. then again having something to look forward to makes the world a little sweeter.
looking forward to a happy new year for one and all.

itching to crochet

i've been crocheting up a storm lately. i recently made a poncho some hats and several scarves. some were gifts but it is still is making me wonder if its a sign. am i crocheting winter apparel because it is going to be a cold winter or am i just really bored?  hmm. i guess we will find out soon.  fall is here.  winter is not far off....

vintage again

there were vintage trains on the 2/3 line today from times square to 96th street. it was in honor of an hbo show boardwalk empire that is set in the 1920s that is premiering on september 25th. i think there will be vintage subways on the 2/3 line next weekend too. it wasn't as much fun as the vintage trains in december, but it was still cool. the diesel smell on the old trains  makes you thankful for the modern trains.

too cool for school

i never was one who cared whether or not i was part of the "in" crowd. as an adult i care even less. this is the great  part of being an adult. one doesn't even feel like one has to be part of the "in" crowd. the problem is that so many i have met lately are still in that zone that cares about being "cool and popular" all of those in this zone are single. i would also like to say that this is probably why they are single. once one reaches the other side of 35 and one is single how "cool " are you anyway? if you are a guy you may be  a confirmed player ( no this is not a good thing ) and if you are a woman might be considered an "old maid" (never cool).  to distract others from the obvious they play the snob card. but again, who cares? which is my point. not caring what the clique-ish think is the best part of being an adult. snobbery works both ways. it is only powerful if you let it be. if you don't let it bother you it fails to have any effect. of course this is something i knew as a teenager. how "cool " is that?

losing and gaining

ive been doing this round of weight watchers for 16 weeks. for 8 weeks i lost weight and for 8 weeks i gained weight or stayed the same. in total i have lost 6 pounds, so im still better off than i was 16 weeks ago. i could have gained 6 pounds above my starting weight and then i would have been twelve pounds above the weight i am today. now i feel a whole lot better....lol.

nice is out

whenever i hear a man tell a woeful tale about some woman who done him wrong all i am thinking is a big SO WHAT. and THIS is why. usually said guy has a great big chip on his shoulders after this and treats the next girl  not so nice even if she is a nice girl. so they will never get a nice girl. they really like the b&^*ches better anyway. they would prefer to be treated badly by the b*&*&ches so they can justify being mean to the nice girls. when you are nice you are always out of luck. maybe i should try being meaner. maybe then i would find  a nice guy to  marry me.

9/10/01

on the evening of 9/10/01 it rained cats and dogs. i was very peeved at the time because i had needed to restock my refrigerator, but couldn't due to the torrential rain that night. another thing i will never forget about that night was my subway ride home. it is something i had never seen before or ever  again. one of the poles that people hold on to spontaneously fell . at the time no one was holding on to it. one man picked up the fallen pole and claimed it as his own . he took it home with him as a souvenir.
9/11/01 was a bright and shining day especially compared to the day that had proceeded it. this made the tragedy of the day make people feel even more off balance. as if it that could be possible.

p.s. i realize that this is a photo of a subway car that is very old and was not in service 9/11/01 but its   cool and i used it anyway.

inspired by 9/11/01

being a technophobe i am always the last to get the new technology bandwagon. when cellphones were new i kept putting off getting one because i didn't want to be that accessible . after 9/11 it all changed. the idea of having a cellphone made me feel safer so i got one. when i went to the store it became obvious to me that a lot of people were buying cellphones as a result of 9/11. in his sales pitch the clerk who helped me remarked how it really helps to have a cellphone when one is running from a burning building. even at the time i found that  remark over the top. then again, it was no worse than when the train conductor would say that due to the"incident" at the world trade center all q trains were running local.

Dip Your Apple - Fountainheads Rosh Hashanah

rosh hashanah..its closer than you think!! this is an upbeat song to get you in the spirit.

9/11 ....the reading of the names

every year at the site of the world trade center they read the names of those who lost their lives  9/11/2001. this year is no different. it is  broadcast on television . family members of the fallen are reading the names as i am writing this. it is hard not to shed a tear when one realizes how long it is taking them to read those names. parents, spouses , children , brothers , sisters,aunts, uncles and cousins were lost. when a fourteen year old girl read her father's name and said that this was by his "peanut girl" one realizes how long ten years is . there will be a day not too far off when the children who were born to 9/11 widows within the year after 9/11 will be old enough to read their fathers names. the most heart wrenching is listening to the parents who lost children on 9/11. how can anything be the same for them?
to all those who were lost on 9/11/01 may they rest in peace. may those who had loved ones who perished that day may they have peace.

9/11/11

where has the time gone? the events of 9/11/01 are as clear to me now as they were ten years ago.  on  the morning of  9/11/01 i was at work when two planes flew into  manhattan and destroyed the world trade center. i was at work when another plane hit the pentagon and yet another plane went down in pennsylvania. everyone at work crowded around a vintage 1976 tv and watched in disbelief as the first tower fell and then then the  second. though by the time i was watching it both planes had hit the trade center,  it barely registered that there were actually two planes  even though i later realized that i had watched the instant replay of both planes hitting the trade center.
i know several people who escaped the world trade center that day. they were the lucky ones.
i stared in disbelief as i saw the photos of thousands displayed all over manhattan looking for the "missing" people. they most certainly are missed but they are  not alive either.
for days after 9/11 there were sirens. for at least a week after you could still see the smoke as the world trade center continued to burn. for weeks there were war planes overhead in all of the five boroughs of new york city.
i lost three pounds on 9/11/01. i couldn't eat for weeks. whenever i put food in my mouth it tasted like sawdust. the world as we knew it was forever changed.
it wasn't until november that i was mentally able to see the destruction at the world trade center site. even then there were throngs of people gathered to  view the devastation.there were signs beseeching onlookers not to take photos of the destruction. no one heeded that request. i took pictures, but the truth was that by then it was just a big pit. not much else was left, beside the stench.
i took pictures of the "missing" people. i took pictures of the shrines  individuals erected in union square in memory of those who were murdered. i found out from photos of the "missing" that i  knew a few people who had siblings that died in the world trade center.
it was hard to endure those frummies who were happy this event happened to the united states because they thought that this would make the united states understand israel better. what fools. all events of terror are horrible. and actually the destruction of the world trade center does ellipse many other acts of terror because of how many people were murdered. the zealous fools would say that because israel has less people that proportionally that its the same but i don't agree. a life is a life and 3,000 were lost at the world trade center at one pop. i don't advocate comparing tragedies in any event. acts of terror are acts of terror. no need to compare.
i pray for peace. i pray that 9/11 will remain the only terror act of its kind in the united states. peace and love forever.

airport pat downs

when given the choice i would choose a body scan over a pat down at the airport any day. when i flew out of new york last week i went through the body scanner. when i left the midwest on monday i was given a pat down and i got the feeling that it was only because i was wearing  a skirt.  when the airport security woman  saw me she decided to do a pat down which was only on my  legs. i briefly googled how to avoid an airport pat down and one of the things listed was for women to wear pants , not a skirt at the airport. i do not wear pants, but i do not want to get singled out for a pat down at the airport every time i go through security only because i am wearing a skirt.i think that this is discrimination.

house vs apartment

i consider my apartment my home, but deep down i feel a real home is  a house. i suppose this is because i grew up in a house .
i visited my mom this past weekend. she lives in the house i grew up in. i spent most of  the weekend indoors because it was oppressively hot outside. i did not have cabin fever . i usually get cabin fever when i spend too many consecutive hours in my apartment. perhaps this is because i live alone. perhaps not.  when i lived in a basement apartment i really enjoyed the fact that i was living in a house. you just opened the door and you were outside.(after climbing a few stairs ) . there was a certain freedom to house living. in an apartment building i dread the elevator chitchat  especially after a long day at work. i need a little time to unwind before socializing. then again i don't mind chitchat with the right person, but in an apartment building there are many i'd rather just nod and smile at than chat with. especially when its late and i have spent the entire day talking.
a house feels like a personal city. an apartment feels like a time share in a city.
im not moving to a house any time soon, but someday i would like to.

fall into new beginnings

i suppose spring is when new flowers bloom but for me fall has always been the season of new beginnings. perhaps it is because rosh hashanah is in the fall and fall begins not long after my birthday. my birthday signafies the beginning of my personal new year.perhaps the crisp chill in the air makes new beginnings seem possible. though i am writing this from my air conditioned abode i know that fall is on the way. bring it on.