Thursday, February 9, 2012

right back to the start

i grew up modern orthodox. for a while i had a stint as left wing yeshivish and eventually went back to being modern orthodox. i am a bit more right wing than the way i grew up, but modern orthodox i am.
i have some friends who grew up in secular jewish families who were frum for awhile,,but went back to being less observant  over time.
its not that i think that no one can maintain spiritual growth, its just that often because one grew up one way, this is the hashkafah one feels comfortable with. the other common denominator is that when one remains single it is easier to through in the towel. some friends who were frum for awhile may have stayed frum had they married. since they did not it became harder to keep the faith. its not an excuse, but it happens. it is easier to grow spiritually with a partner.
then again, everyone has to find their place religiously. sometimes it is not best for someone to be really shtark. sometimes one is better suited for a more  moderate  form of judaism. if one is more extreme it could cause one to feel too stifled.
then again, its best to feel clear about one's  own  hashkafah before marrying . this may happen when one marries a little later and can actually be a good thing. then one will be ready to grow in the best direction  alone or coupled.

1 comment:

aminspiration said...

I know for myself that ever since I have been living alone somethings have slipped where I would like that they did not and I think this has to do without the positive peer/social pressure. When you are alone it is easier to compromise and let standards slip. We start rationalizing. When you are with a family or a spouse they help you maintain your spirituality. It is harder to rationalize.