there are a lot of fun singles activities out there for unaffiliated jews in the form of kiruv organizations. if you have always been frum or frum for a long while you are not welcome there. you get to go to the mediocre events for the forever frum. if you are frum and single and you go to an event for the not necessarily frum crowd you may not be the exact frum that organization is pushing so you may be a 'bad' influence. perhaps the crowd will influence you negatively. oh and chas v-shalom you might actually meet someone there and get married to them. maybe you will grow together, maybe you won't, but you might have gotten married and on to the next step.
i never understand why there aren't more organizations bent on keeping others frum as opposed to being mekarev those who are so far from judaism that its almost like you are converting them when you mekarev them.
dont't get me wrong, i am not against kiruv. i just think that if the kindness and patience extended those who are not frum was extended to those who are currently frum there may less who go off the derech. its really less work to keep the currently frum connected because they still know the path.
8 comments:
I'm going to be a bit cynical, but I have to wonder. If you are a lifeguard with two people in the pool, and one of them looks like he is in the middle of drowning, but the other guy is starting to have trouble swimming too, who do you save first?
interesting, the truth is sparrow, this is my point. why is everything thing black or white? its always all or nothing. the truth is why not try to help everyone? it is possible. or to put it another way we can all help each other.
life really is not as clear cut as the evangelists - jewish or gentle will lead us to believe. there are lots of shades of grey.
the funny thing is sparrow that if a doctor was that lifeguard he/might choose the person in the middle of drowning to save first. if someone has one good eye and one bad eye the doctor will foremost try to preserve the good eye, because most of the patient's vision is in that good eye. after securing the better eye they will try to improve the worse eye. after all , the worse eye will never be as good as the better eye is even if the bad eye did not exist.
sparrow- i guess i did answer your conundrum (sorry for the poor spelling). that is sort of why i wrote this post.
I suppose when someone is having trouble with his/her faith/observance, they're expected to go to shiurim and stuff, or perhaps go to the kiruv events anyways.
@sparrow: I dont think the analogy is fair because Frum Female has a point, why not do both, especially in the field of Kiruv.
I am no longer as orthodox as I used to be and if I ever were to be interested in a program, im either too observant or not enough. There needs to be an in between just like everything. Your analogy is a moral choice, or circumstances oblige. I cannot view Kiruv that way
FF i understand your frustration :)
thanks yedid nefesh
FSF: the reason I went with the two choices I did was because of the post offering a split between bt and ffb. You're absolutly right as far as the shades of grey, though, and your argument about the doctor and vision is very convincing.
YN: how do you view kiruv, then? I do get what you mean about feeling as neither one thing or the other.
I actually think that doing kiruv for those already orthoprax is a whole different animal than for those who aren't. Maybe a revitalized mussar movement?
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