Sometimes its better not to talk too much about one's blessings to others. Sometimes others do not have what you do and it is important to be sensitive to that. I do not mean that one should never speak about the bounty that one does have but maybe don't speak about it all day long.
Its nice to know when a friend or relative is engaged. I want to know and I am genuinely happy for them. Do I want to hear about it constantly night and day? Absolutely not. On the other hand I have had stable employment all of my adult life (no I am not rich) . I talk about work but I would not constantly tell this to my friends who do not have mazel in retaining employment. Its really not fair.
Often someone does not hold back when talking about the joys of parenthood because they think that just because someone is single that the idea of parenthood is not on their radar . If they had a friend who had been married for many years and did not have children they might not spend all day and night talking about their kids. Its not that someone who does not have children resents someone who does has kids or wishes that their friend was in their boat, they just don't want that to be their only topic of conversation.
Once I was at work and someone who should have known better was going on about how once she had children she then knew why women were created This woman was a first time mother at forty. She should have shared this with her mommy and me group instead of in a place full of people she did not know who may or may not ever have kids. Of course being a parent is a beautiful experience but being a single woman without children I may not be the person to share such an epiphany with.
There are all sorts of situations in life where one is more fortunate than another person. These just are a few that are foremost in my mind at the moment. I try hard not to make others feel envy when I am successful or have something someone else does not. There is no need to brag , just to have appreciation. Married people get divorced. People lose jobs. Children are fought over in brutal custody battles or chas v'shalom pass away. When you have a bracha just appreciate it because as easily as someone has mazel, they could also not have it.
Its nice to know when a friend or relative is engaged. I want to know and I am genuinely happy for them. Do I want to hear about it constantly night and day? Absolutely not. On the other hand I have had stable employment all of my adult life (no I am not rich) . I talk about work but I would not constantly tell this to my friends who do not have mazel in retaining employment. Its really not fair.
Often someone does not hold back when talking about the joys of parenthood because they think that just because someone is single that the idea of parenthood is not on their radar . If they had a friend who had been married for many years and did not have children they might not spend all day and night talking about their kids. Its not that someone who does not have children resents someone who does has kids or wishes that their friend was in their boat, they just don't want that to be their only topic of conversation.
Once I was at work and someone who should have known better was going on about how once she had children she then knew why women were created This woman was a first time mother at forty. She should have shared this with her mommy and me group instead of in a place full of people she did not know who may or may not ever have kids. Of course being a parent is a beautiful experience but being a single woman without children I may not be the person to share such an epiphany with.
There are all sorts of situations in life where one is more fortunate than another person. These just are a few that are foremost in my mind at the moment. I try hard not to make others feel envy when I am successful or have something someone else does not. There is no need to brag , just to have appreciation. Married people get divorced. People lose jobs. Children are fought over in brutal custody battles or chas v'shalom pass away. When you have a bracha just appreciate it because as easily as someone has mazel, they could also not have it.
3 comments:
Hakaras hatov is an extremely important value that is completely understressed in our society and educational system.
Sadly
The worst is second hand bragging for a competitive purpose. Like a mother humble bragging about her child my age and his high profile job and glamorous vacations.
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