I just finished reading the new flavor of the month OTD book by Chaya Deitsch. Its called HERE AND THERE: LEAVING HASIDIM , KEEPING MY FAMILY. It won't make the National Enquirer like most of the garbage OTD tell alls, but its the best and most realistic of them all.
Chaya Deitsch grew up Lubavitch in New Haven , Connecticut. She had normal loving parents but she always had a curiosity for the secular. Growing up she slowly pushed the boundaries and eventually she completely went off the derech.
I think that the biggest difference between Deitsch's book and some of the other OTD memoirs is that she wrote it at fifty instead of in her twenties or thirties like Deborah Feldman, Leah Vincent and Pearl Abraham. The other difference is that Deitsch does not have a dysfunctional family that she instead blames on religion like many other OTDers do. She just did not exactly fit in to frum society found her place in a more secular life. She also remains close to her family. I have the feeling more people are like this than those who write sensational memoirs blaming their bad choices on their religious upbringing ( like Leah Vincent. cough cough. )
I really enjoyed this book. It gives me hope for the world. Perhaps it will help those who are searching make peace with their choices and hopefully it will give people with children who do go OTD hope that they can find a way to keep lines of communication open with their OTD children. Life does not usually happen the way we plan it to . This is yet another illustration of that. This book shows that no matter what path people take they can still stay together as a family. Isn't that really what the Torah intended?
Chaya Deitsch grew up Lubavitch in New Haven , Connecticut. She had normal loving parents but she always had a curiosity for the secular. Growing up she slowly pushed the boundaries and eventually she completely went off the derech.
I think that the biggest difference between Deitsch's book and some of the other OTD memoirs is that she wrote it at fifty instead of in her twenties or thirties like Deborah Feldman, Leah Vincent and Pearl Abraham. The other difference is that Deitsch does not have a dysfunctional family that she instead blames on religion like many other OTDers do. She just did not exactly fit in to frum society found her place in a more secular life. She also remains close to her family. I have the feeling more people are like this than those who write sensational memoirs blaming their bad choices on their religious upbringing ( like Leah Vincent. cough cough. )
I really enjoyed this book. It gives me hope for the world. Perhaps it will help those who are searching make peace with their choices and hopefully it will give people with children who do go OTD hope that they can find a way to keep lines of communication open with their OTD children. Life does not usually happen the way we plan it to . This is yet another illustration of that. This book shows that no matter what path people take they can still stay together as a family. Isn't that really what the Torah intended?
2 comments:
A rav in New York i know once explained it to me thus: the OTD problem isn't any bigger than it ever was except that it used to be that people would just leave and disappear. Now they reach the door out, stand there and look back screaming "Hey I'm leaving! Everyone! Pay attention! I really mean it! I hate you all! I'm leaving!"
So true
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