Friday, February 13, 2009

bittersweet

when a friend gets married i always find it bittersweet. im genuinely happy for them, but sad for the end of an era in our friendship. unless they have a rotten marriage (chas v'shalom) the friendship will change. when a guy friend gets married one gains a friend , unless the wife isnt someone one would want to befriend , then that friendship is totally over. as it should be. some women totally dump their single friends when they marry . when this happens you find out that they were really your situational friend and not a forever friend. and thats okay too. im still glad they have married.
its easy to think that you wont swap your single friends for the smug marrieds when you do get married, but you just might do this. one just never knows. better not to judge others. moving on and evolving friendships are a part of life. life is change. get used to it. (im trying to take my own advice!)

4 comments:

Originally From Brooklyn said...

I know what you mean.

katrina said...

I totally understand, fsf. Last year at this time I was so depressed about being single. And friends getting married was tough. Hang in there.

AmIaFrumFeminist said...

Sounds like you're having a little married-friend trouble. How long have they been married? Sometimes it's simply a matter of giving them time to get used to being married and then they'll get back in touch with you.

Getting married isn't an excuse to drop friends and, in fact, it's unhealthy when a person does that. Being married doesn't exempt you from needing friends.

frum single female said...

frum feminist- true, people shouldnt drop there single friends once they get married , but the reality is that many do. not all do. i do have some friends who ive remained friends with and they have lots of kids and they even have good marriages. but the truth is the friendship does change.
sometimes when people get married they prefer the company of their married friends. not always, but sometimes it happens that way.
but whether or not my married friends remain my true friends, i am still glad that they have gotten married.