yes , i am single and this is why i know much more about dating than your average shadchan. you average shadchan doesnt know much about dating . after all, they are married . and anyway they probably havent gone out with as many people as i have. and they have probably only had maybe one relationship . what i mean by maybe one relationship is that im not sure that the marriage these shadchanim are in can be considered relationships. it might be , but who knows. just because someone is married it doesnt make them a relationship guru.
i think that shadchanim should be ready to expose their age , how old they were when they got married, how many times they have been married, how many people they went out with before they got married, how long they dated their spouse before they married them, the quality of their marriage, whether they are currently seeing a marriage counselor , whether they are currently taking any psychotropics,how many kids they have and how old they were when they had each of these kids. this would definitely help me decide whether or not i want to deal with these shadchanim. after all, i only want to know the answers to questions i might be asked by them. its only fair.
if i know how old a shadchan is i can gauge how much i should believe them when they tell me a guy looks boyish. after all , a guy could look boyish to a shadchan if the shadchan is 65! that doesnt help me any.
if the status of a shadchan's marriage isnt that great or if they dont have a relationship that is in sync with the type of relationship i might be looking for, then why do i want to entrust them with the task of finding my bashert?
it is important to know if the shadchan married the only person they ever went out with. alot of shadchanim get frustrated when they set you up with three people(if you are lucky) and then you dont want to marry any of them. this sentiment is compounded even more when you are dealing with someone who married the first person they ever went out with.
its also important to gauge the general mental health of a shadchan. if they seem nuts, who knows what types of walnuts they might want to set me up with!
actually, im not much in to shadchanim lately. id much prefer an inane singles event, frumster or meeting someone randomly , but its always fun to rail into shadchanim. or maybe if they employed some of my suggestions, i might seek their services more often!
3 comments:
I'm very against the idea of the professional shadchan. Then again, I got married to the first person I went out with.
wow . lucky you.
4 days before my 22nd birthday.
I think the shadchan idea is stupid because the shadchan is not you. Mixers and shabbatons are much better, as long as you're not shy.
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