Wednesday, October 21, 2009

kid stuff




i know that time marches on and as one gets older one has to be open to dating someone who has kids. this concept never thrills me because though ive always wanted to have kids of my own, i always wanted to have them after at least nine months of marriage, not at the first day of marriage. aside from numerous other considerations in this department the one thing that always throws me for a loop is this one. WHAT do you do if you're dating someone with a kid and they show you their childs photo and you just think they are just so (fill in the blank) and you dont think that you could relate to them? i realize that this is just a picture and though worth a thousand works it doesnt necessary portray the best image of said child, but still. even if i might really like the guy im always thinking, sheesh i hope his genetics arent real strong. this kid is ugly as sin, snotty, jappy, chutzpadick, etc. you pick your character defect. once this did happen to me but the relationship didnt last long enough for this to be a problem. the thing is it did make me wonder what would have happened if it would have progressed further. would it have progressed further? could i have gotten past this ? would i want a kid who would look and act like this spawn? its hard to know for sure. when someone has a kid they are a stronger part of them than their future intended. so you really gotta like this kid. or ditch the relationship.


i never really dated anyone with kids for all that long for me to have to really face this issue, its just something i ponder every so often.




2 comments:

Tzipporah said...

There are bigger issues than whether you like the kid.

Such as: the kid's dad (your potential husband) would (and SHOULD) always have a stronger commitment to that child than to you. You're going to go into that relationship knowing that if there's a conflict, your well-being is secondary.

When it's not your own kid in the equation, that can be hard to swallow.

frum single female said...

actually tzipporah this is exactly why i have a problem contemplating going out with someone with kids.