as a kid i always thought that the time one defines who wants to be was in one's teens and early twenties. boy was i wrong. self evaluation is continual. life is a serious of re-evaluation. or at least mine is . there are many forks in the road and times when i stop to reassess my values.
when my father died it made me introspective. i have a love-hate relationship living in nyc, but after much thought over the past seven months i have realized it is my home. at least for now. this is where my life is. i miss my family, but i am who i am because i was able to break away from them . and this is a good thing. in order to be happy i need to have my own space even if its as far as another city in a far away state.
i need to be away from my family but this does not mean i wont visit them or speak to them. i just cant live with them. not now, anyway. ive known this truth for a very long time, its just that i haven't thought it out loud for a very long time.
there is much else that i need to evaluate as well, but cannot put to words at the moment.