family circus

     When I was growing up I always thought that my family must be the only family with quirks and that everyone else's families were picture perfect. Boy was I wrong. When I got older I met people with families who had quirks that were similar to those my family had as well as those who had families that were outright nuts. I must say that its comforting to know that everyone has a family with quirks and that no one's family is picture perfect. Misery really does have company.

Yuppies

In New York City I am surrounded by people of multi socio-economic groups. After a while it becomes less than interesting. There are still  some events that attract a less than ethnic crowd. Baseball games, the monday night free movies in bryant park and the etsy craft event in Dumbo, Brooklyn that I recently attended. It has been such a long time since I had been in a crowd that could have played extras on the tv show Friends. Not to sound biggoted, but I kind of miss the the lack of diversity. It was fun to eavesdrop on the seinfeldish over analyzing that was going on.
I am a little dissatisfied with David Dinkins' beatiful mosaic. Or maybe I just like being around people with values more similar to my own, instead of the average vilda chayas one encounters on the Q train.

sunscreen

I try to stay out of the sun as much as possible. Even a few years ago I had friends who would mock me for this. They were forever on the beach soaking up some rays.  Not anymore.  Several sunburns and sun damage removal later they are singing different tunes. I never thought that this would happen. Not the sun damage part, but the fact that less of my friends are sun worshippers.  The fact is the best way not to burn is to stay out of the sun. Sunblock helps, but the best way not to burn or have sun spots is to stay out of the sun.  I think that the laws of tznius actually help Jewish people get less sun damage. If you are more covered with clothing one is less likely to suffer from the ravages of the sun. If you are more covered up outside the heat will affect you more so you really better stay out of the sun. Being more clothed in the heat can cause you to pass out from the heat. This is why I opt to stay indoors with my air conditioning on. Wake me up when it's fall.

more funerals than weddings

     Sometimes people in movies attend weddings to meet members of the opposite sex ala The Wedding Crashers . Other times people go to funerals to meet members of the opposite sex. So far I have been more successful meeting men at weddings than at funerals/shiva.  I guess that's good. Unfortunately I know more people sitting shiva than having weddings. This my friends is the essence of the shidduch crisis. There are not enough weddings happening and more people are dying without facilitiating  love connections for grieving singles.

true love

   True love is knowing another person's true personality and still sticking by their side. This sounds simple , but it isn't. The nice part is realizing when you are in that place with someone . You acknowledge that there are things about the other person that make you nuts, but its ok.  There is so much good about them that the shortcomings only look like blips instead of potholes.

shiva

     I went to the Shiva for my neighbor's baby tonight. I always wonder if I am helping or hurting when I attend Shiva. It was  hard not  to cry. I know that I wear my emotions on my face.   I am not even really close friends with my neighbors . I had never even been in their apartment before.  The aura in the room was  thick with sadness. You would have to be a stone not to feel their pain. A child is not suppose to pass away before a parent, especially one that never got to live through even one season.
     I believe that however sad this is that it was meant to be this way. We just do not understand why. When someone passes so young it makes one  realize that life is finite and that one needs to cherish every moment one spends  with loved ones . When I came home from the Shiva I called my mother.

   

avenue m mardi gras

Today was the avenue m mardi gras. That is today was the once a year street fair that occurs on Avenue M in midwood every summer.  It really is not the best street fair. It is filled with lots of junk  I do not need. Its kind of like a street fair filled with everything you might find at Amazing Savings. Not really my speed. It is fun to go to anyway. They block off the streets where the street fair is and its fun to just walk through the streets without the cars.

heat wave

There has been a blistering heat wave in New York city this week. I  am not a fan of the heat. I live in the air conditioning. I saw this cute picture and I thought I would share it with you . FYI  I just bought a popcorn popper last week.

baruch dayan emet

  I received the most devastating news this afternoon. My neighbor's two month old baby passed away yesterday morning. I do not know the details , but it was sudden. I don't think she was ill . I am just the neighbor. I would not know. Since she was born my neighbor and I must not have crossed paths much. I would see her with the baby but mostly in passing and I did not really get a good look at the baby until Tuesday, which as it turned out,  was two  days before she passed away.  She was such a tiny thing. She looked just like her older siblings. Who knows what kind of person she could have become.  We will never know. It was just not meant to be.  When something like this happens its so hard to understand. The parents are such nice people. Fortunately they have other children. This does not make up for the one they have just lost.
Baruch dayan emet for the baby we will never get to know .

Knitting Club to Lower Stress for Kids in Sderot - Defense/Security - News - Israel National News

    I love knitting and crocheting. It is said that knitting and crocheting decreases  stress levels and is good for one's memory. I guess this is why it is good for older people to knit.  In Sderot , Israel there is a knitting club for 12 year old girls which a  bat mitzvah girl from  (and her parents)  from the united states sponsored .  Now young girls can enjoy the joys of knitting while dealing with the stress of the rocket attacks ,Knitting Club to Lower Stress for Kids in Sderot - Defense/Security - News - Israel National News  I find this incredible.

desperation

Its bad enough being single and "normal" and having difficulty finding a shidduch but when I hear people talking about their diagnosed mentally ill relatives and how they hope that that will marry I silently lose it. I realize that they don't mean to be inconsiderate, but when they speak about mentally ill people who are not in my opinion capable of taking care of themselves let alone marry but I  lose it. I try to be polite and not spell out my feelings.  I tell them that they should just worry about their loved one being able to take care of themselves and live a happy life . I certainly wouldn't want to date anyone like their loved one and their loved one is too naive and vulnerable to date anyone let alone marry. I try to be polite because I know that people are in denial about mentally ill loved ones. They  know that wishing them marriage is a dream but they can't help themselves. They don't realize that speaking to me about these fears is not the best idea. I feel too stupid about my resentment to confront them with my true feelings on the subject , so we  continue to have this conversation.

kosher delight and jerusalem 2

Late breaking news.... Kosher Delight in Manhattan closed its doors yesterday. They were open for 28 years  in that location on Broadway between 36th and 37th street.  First J2 closed  a few months ago , now KD closes. Moshiach must be on the way.  Kosher Delight and J2 pizza had been a part of my life since I have lived in new york. What is the world coming to? More importantly , where will I eat?

CVS

    I went to CVS last week and instead of check out people there were only  the self-service check outs with store employees on hand to help people use them.  Self-service check outs have existed for years, but I have always avoided them.  Its kind of like how I knew VHS was becoming extinct but I still refused to buy DVDs until there were no more VHS tapes to purchase.  The self-service check outs really are better than the people were. For one thing, even if I insist that a store employee   hover when I self check out, I am much faster at checking out than the store employees ever were.  I guess change really can be good even though  its comforting when things are always familiar.
   

father's day

Happy father's day to all of the fathers out there. Its the day to remind people to do what they should be doing everyday. It is easy to take one's parents for granted. Father's day and mother's day are days to remind us not to.

choices

      Everyone has a different path .  Some things we choose, some are chosen by default.  Some choices are irrevocable.  Be careful what you choose, but don't be too afraid of mistakes.  The worst part of life is the things we can't change from default, not the mistakes we have made by choosing .

bain adam lechavero

     So often when things go wrong in the world people look toward external mitzvot or averot  that are bain adam lemakom (between g-d and man) as to why things have gone wrong. I would like to suggest why this may not be the best idea. Before Yom Kippur we ask our fellow people for mechilah because G-d alone can't absolve us from the wrongs we have done others. I think that if people were more careful with how they treat others that the world would be a better place. Its easier to just daven more or put on a longer skirt, but to be kinder and more patient with those who we dislike is much more difficult. Being tolerant of those who are less or more ritually observant is as important as eating only food with the  bedatz hechsher  in Israel.  If we aren't kind to each other  what are we doing all of these mitzvot for ?

     

the power of laughter

     I just read the most amazing article . There is a disabled  Israeli soldier, Nadav Shmueli ,who was in car accident in 2008 and has been in an unresponsive state until recently when his sister showed him a sketch from an Israeli comedy group Ma Kashur and he smiled and blinked. Since that day he has been responsive and now can communicate with the help of a letter board and is able to do math and crossword puzzles. Eventually the group Ma Kashur actually came to Nadav Shmueli's hospital room and performed for him.
     I had never heard of the group Ma Kashur until reading about this soldier's triumph. From what little I have seen of them on you tube , the appear to be the Israeli version of the three stooges. I have always heard that laughter is the best medicine. In this case it truly was.

Ma Kashur - Lama Lo Uganda (Why not Uganda)? - English sub

    I am not sure if this is the best of Ma Kashur or not, but this bit has subtitles so i chose to post it.

labels for less

     I absolutely love all of the labels on frumster that try to define how religious someone is . The more categories they list the less I know what they represent, so I am always changing my label. There should just be a list of mitzvot and everyone should just check off which ones they observe and the degree of kavanah they have while performing them. 

     Sometimes there are singles events that have religious label requirements for attendees.  Some will just be for modern orthodox liberal, some just for modern orthodox machmir, some for modern yeshivish , some for traditional yeshivish.  Whatever.  Now, if you can actually figure out which category best describes you , then the organizer of the event might decide they know better and exclude you from the event for the group  you self identify with.  Two things have happened . Either you really don't fit the category, or the event organizer doesn't want you at the event. Or if you are really unlucky you are excluded on both counts. 

     I realize that the powers that be are only trying to make the event have a group where people will be the most similar, but sometimes its just best to have more than one category grouped together so there will be more people at the event and more will be more likely to meet. One can always tell who is a little more religious or less religious. You can always tell who is on the older end of the range and who is on the lower end. If you can't tell and you actually like each other and date, eventually  get engaged and  get married , well what category would that be? Oh, well at that point you won't have to attend singles events again and you won't have to fit into any categorical box.

Bee Gees - Israel

 Well,  Robin Gibb passed away recently and what do you  know a pro Israel BeeGees song pops up on facebook. I had to share it of course. Enjoy.

hot coffee

    i just finished viewing the documentary hot coffee.  the title story is about an elderly woman who accidentally spilled scalding hot coffee on her lap that she had just bought from mcdonalds. she sued mcdonald's and became the butt of many jokes. unfortunately what had happened to her was no joke. she had severe burns and was burnt so badly that she even needed skin grafts. apparently the temperature of the coffee was 180 degrees.  she was one of 700 who had been burned from mcdonald's hot coffee. she sued mcdonald's so this would not happen to anyone else.
     as a result of belittling the validity of the hot coffee lawsuit as well as other lawsuits like it has caused politicians to push for tort reform which means caps for how much someone can win from a lawsuit. it also wants to limit lawsuits due to damage to a consumer. sounds great unless this happens to you. then you are screwed.
     until i viewed this documentary i never thought much about lawsuits and why people file them.  after seeing this documentary i realized that even though people may file lawsuits that may not make sense to others perhaps we don't really know the whole story and we should realize just that. when i found out what really happened to stella liebeck i realized how much the media skews our thoughts.  
things are not always as they seem.  i also realized that  there is a reason for trial by jury and that is what makes our country a good one. thanks to hot coffee i know a whole lot more about the american legal system.

So You Want to Boycott Israel?

  i always love these kinds of videos.

matisyahu

 so matisyahu is now a blond who does not wear a kipah. hmmm ... well i  wonder what pushed him to change from dressing full on chasid to regular joe. i also wonder what his wife thinks about all of this. i hope that she is on board with all of this change otherwise deep trouble is in the horizon.
   i think that matisyahu would have been popular had he never worn chassidic garb because in order to be a popular reggae singer in chassidic garb one would have to be extra good at what one does. as popular as he was with frummies he would not have been successful with the general public had he not been outstanding to  begin with.
   i actually have compassion for matisyahu. he must having a lot of doubt within himself which has changed his "look". it is also quite difficult to go through such confusion in the public eye. i wish him well and i wish him inner peace no matter how religious or non-religious he may be.
   i am including a link to an article in huffington post by elad nehorai . he could not have said it better.

the digital age

ever since i have had a computer with internet i feel that i am more in touch with the world. i am certainly more likely to know news headlines . i barely ever read a newspaper.

now that i have a computer i have been sent more virtual photos and less physical ones.  emailed photos take up less room in my apartment, but i still prefer a physical photo.

i get more discount coupons from stores now that i am on their email lists. then again, this might be a bad thing. i may spend more money because i am saving so much.
my mom on the other hand has zero interest in computers and never looks anything up online yet she always is in touch with the latest news. she does listen to the radio , reads newspapers and watches televison. so really if one makes the effort one does not need to be online to know what is going on in the world. of course i am not including anyone who believes tv, radio and newspapers are the devil. those people will always be out of touch and even more so because they are relying others to provide their  version of what is going on instead of finding out firsthand.

celebrate israel

i  attended the celebrate israel parade today. it was uplifting. i am posting some photos of some of the amazing jews that showed up to support our homeland.

spring in the city

   there is nothing like window shopping in new york city in the spring.  in honor of spring i have included some fun photos i have taken. 

 some of these photos were taken on sixth avenue , some on fifth avenue and some in union square.
enjoy!

Oseh Shalom

    in honor of the celebrate israel parade i am posting this song. the celebrate israel parade will be marching down fifth avenue from 57th street until 74th street in manhattan tomorrow between 11am - 4 pm. if you cannot attend there will be live streaming online on the salute to israel  website from noon until 3 pm.

Good Shabbos Animation

so you think you know me? or do you?

the fun of dating and getting to know someone is just that . you get to know someone. the worst is when you have dated someone and then you realize that they never really knew you. or worse, you are dating someone currently and then you realize they don't really know you. they try and second guess you and they are NEVER correct. i have had this . its awful. this is why when i find someone who really gets me it is so    hard to  move on when it is over because its hard to find someone who really gets who i am.