REJECTS

i joined jdate and frumster a few years ago. back then i actually didnt mind when guys wrote me back that they weren't interested when i initiated contact with them. around that time my friend nancy mentioned that she found it disappointing when she received these types of rejection notices and that she didnt see the point of them. after all, if they dont write you back you kind of figure it out anyway, and you dont have to hear it directly. and you know what? nancy was right.
the other fun fact that i have found, is if i dont send a rejection notice to a guy i find slightly creepy and then he sends me hate mail because i had the nerve not to sent him a rejection letter, it was the best thing i could have done. you see, when he first contacted me i just wasnt interested, but when someone sends me hate mail, i know that he is psycho and has abandonment issues, and good riddance to him!
last year a man almost 20 yrs older than me who lived on the other side of the united states contacted me on one of the dating websites. i just thought it was a bit of a joke on his part to contact me anyway, because of the huge age difference as well as the fact that even if he had been younger, he was geographically undesirable. so i didnt respond. i had thought about sending him a rejection notice, but i was lazy and i didnt get around to it. also, i figured he'd figure it out by my not writing him back. anyway, months letter he writes me a really long letter . i think he was trying to analyse me (alot of people who actually are in therapy do this) but im not really sure. i deleted after the first sentence. anyway, im REALLY glad i wasnt interested. this idiot sent a nasty LETTER which i could have posted all over the internet and in every jewish paper, WITH his profile photo. but of course, i didnt care enough about him to do so.
a note from a member of a dating website is just that! its just a note! its not a date.
in the movie somethings got to give with jack nicholson and diane keaton, jack asks diane if she wants to go for a walk on the beach. she wasnt so sure. and he said to her "its just a walk on the beach . its not a marriage proposal!! "
when someone initiates contact with someone else on a dating website its JUST a note. its not a marriage proposal or even a date. yes, its mentschlach to write a them a rejection notice back, but if one doesnt its not the end of the world. actually , if im on the fence about whether im interested or not, i wait awhile before responding. if he sends me a nasty note about my not responding, i know he's not for me.