back on the wagon

after seeing some recent photos of myself ive decide to get back on the wagon . the diet wagon that is. ive been talking, reading and writing alot about it lately and now ive decided to do something about it. ive signed up for weight watchers online. last time i lost a sizable chunk of weight i did the weight watchers route where i attended meetings. i lost the weight i wanted, went to meetings even after i reached goal weight, but after awhile i became bored with the meetings. they were all the same. eventually i was gaining weight even though i was attending meetings.

i havent yet regained all of the weight i had lost, but i dont want to get to that point. hence my rejoining a weight loss program. i tried doing self magazine's version for awhile. its not terrible, but i like weight watchers' plan better. thus ive bitten the bullet and joined.

i have several friends who are fifty pounds heavier than i am who wont understand why i want to lose 15 pounds. i think this makes them feel bad about themselves. this time around i wont mention my weight loss plans with them.

its funny how so many of us have such unhealthy relationships with food. i tend to overindulge like pig while others prefer to starve themselves. to me these are two sides of the same coin. my issues make me want to eat more, their issues make them not want to eat.its too bad that those on each side dont help each other more. i have a good friend who is anorexic who always asks me how i can have an appetite. i of course always have an appetite. then again, its not necessarily a bad thing. the only time i havent had an appetite was right after 9/11. not only did i not have an appetite, but when i put food in my mouth and tried to eat, i could not taste it. it was like eating sawdust. after awhile my appetite came back. this experience did help me understand what might make some one anorexic. although i do need to curb my freestyle eating habits, i am thankful that i do have an appetite and that i can appreciate the taste of food.