singles events

     There are always a few people who I meet who are still single or newly divorced who do not go to singles events because they  think that they are too frum for the crowd who attends. Another reason some people refuse to attend singles events is out of shyness. If one has never gone to one it can feel overwhelming to start attending them.
     When I started going to singles events I met many of the single more yeshivish guys that I had met on shidduch dates. This is when I realized that everyone goes to singles events past age thirty. I remember encouraging an acquaintance of mine to attend a shabbaton in midwood years ago. I knew the crowd and she would have found it appropriate frumkeit wise. She declined attendance because she was too shy.
     I do not understand why a shidduch date is considered more divine than a singles event or meeting someone online. A shidduch date might  be better if those setting up know all parties involved really well, otherwise its no better than meeting someone in a bar. Actually its worse. At least when you meet someone and it clicks you know there is that . If you get set up with a dud no one was making sure you will meet someone you might like  physically or spiritually and yet you have to spend the hour or so trying to converse with them.
     I still have not found a husband and I have attended singles events, met guys online and through shadchanim. I think that there are advantages and disadvantages to each method, but I think that it is important to try each method and work the system. Eventually something will work.