Sunday, August 25, 2013

The Uninvited

     Simchas can be joyous. The also can be great windows into seeing who your true friends are as well as how gracious one is .
    Recently I was not invited to a co-worker's wedding. Everyone else at the office  was invited. We worked together for years and were friendly. Even if I had been invited I would not have been able to attend. The wedding was on Shabbos. The best part of not being invited is that I feel zero obligation to buy her a wedding gift. Had I been invited I would have . If she had invited me it would just have been an invitation for a gift since I would not have been able to attend. Even though I know all of this I still feel a pin prick bad about it.
     Once I had  a friend who made a simcha and later told me that she was sorry but she had forgotten to invite me. I  did not forget to not get a gift for it. This of course was months after the simcha. I actually had known about it prior to her telling me because someone had mentioned to me that she had attended it. I think that that person had thought I had been invited but just did not attend. I of course said nothing. If someone does not invite me it says something about the friendship but there is really no need to discuss it . I may think that I should have been invited but apparently they hadn't . End of story. I certainly do not want to force anyone to desire my presence at their simcha.

1 comment:

MIghty Garnel Ironheart said...

I remember the first time I encountered the partial invite, the one where you're invited to the chuppah and desert but not the part in the middle. Growing up I'd never encountered it and only figured it out when I couldn't find a place card for the main meal! I hate those partial invites. It's worse than not getting invited. It says "We want the room packed but we don't want to give you dinner."