I always love listening to friends who are no longer frum talk about what they prefer about the frum world. Usually its quite telling as to why they left frumkeit. I have one friend who went the Lubavitch route but decided it was not for her. The restrictions of being shomer shabbat were too much for her ,but she still liked the concept of the rebbe. Another friend had been modern orthodox, but after years of remaining single watching her friends marry and have kids she decided not to be frum anymore. When eventually she did have a child she debated over what school to send them to. She would say she could not justify sending her kid to a modern orthodox school,, but a more black hat type she could. Meanwhile her kid remains in public school. Nothing like that all or nothing attitude. My friend could have easily returned to being modern orthodox, but would never have been able to swing charedi so she figured she'd do neither. I think that many think that idealism is best done from afar. When it comes to appying ideals to one's life its another story.