meme

ive been tagged to do a meme. im not sure exactly what it means, but ill do my best.
the rules are to turn to page 56 of the nearest book and include the 5th sentence and then write down the 2nd to 5th sentence . and of course tag others to do the same.
the book i chose is the book of dahlia by elisa albert. here goes:
"danny found his calling in comforting and entertaining his baby sister. it got so that dahlia couldnt be put down for a nap or bathed or comforted after a boo-boo unless it was by danny. bruce and margalit watched incredulously as their total #*&%* of a little boy morphed into his sisters adoring caretaker. danny would play dolls with dahlia for hours on end. he read to her, he made up private preverbal jokes with her, rushed home from school to hang out with her."
by the way, im only up to page 55 .
the rules are to next state 7 facts about myself and then tag others and link them . and to leave a comment on their blog saying they've been tagged.
fact 1. i have verrry curly hair.
fact 2. i chose the name frum single female to be kind of like single white female, nicejewishgirl or maidel ,if you catch my drift.
fact 3. im a very creative person. i enjoy crocheting, photography and writing ( well i guess you know that one)
fact 4. im one of the many who have been a shabbos counselor at bais ezra . bais ezra is a group home for mentally retarded jewish women in boro park, brooklyn.
fact 5. my favorite colors are pink and purple.
fact 6. though i do own a cell phone, i hate being out on the town with friends who answer their cellphones and have long chats with others that are not urgent calls.
fact 7. i love reading silly magazines like allure, self , glamour. im not a reader of vogue or cosmopolitan.
and there you have it. i was tagged by mikeinmidwood, and dys. ill link to fruminsouthflorida, webgirl, katrina, onefrumskeptic , lubabnomore ,smoo, levadi

the last night of hanukkah....

i was at union square tonight and i heard music. the music of chabad lighting the menorah. so of course i located the mitzvah tank and snapped photos. i of course found something quite interesting in the process. the mitzvah tank was right behind a whole obama-memorabilia concession stand. unwittingly, it looked like obama was endorsing chabad's mission to spread yiddishkeit. quite funny and wholly not intended!

its all a set-up.

in the shtetls of eastern europe the shadchan was all the rage. i think that in shtetl culture where basicly everyone knew each other this was probably a valuable venue. in 2008, almost 2009 , im not too sure that it is.
a shadchan usually meets her client once and then tries to "set them up" . how can a shadchan set two people up without knowing them and expect it to work out. i suppose if one goes by the "you never know " cliche, then perhaps. but usually its alot more like spinning the dice or playing paper scissors , rock.
my answer to those who abide by the "you never know " cliche is "oh yes i do". once in awhile by accident a shadchan might make a shidduch with that theory, but one cant rely on the consistency of happenstance.
when a shadchan so nonchalantly asks me my age i am always inwardly estimating their age. only once has a shadchan told me her age during one of those shidduch interrogations. i think all shadchanim should do this. and of course we'll just add 10 years to their answer ....just to be safe.
with shadchanim 40 is the new 30 and he has been 30 for the last ten years... at least...
shadchanim ask their clients for references, but of course they never check them out. they leave that to their lowly clients. though i would trust my investigative abilities over that of a shadchan , i still dont quite understand why they dont do reference checking before setting someone up, just to be sure they arent setting up an axe murderer. arent they afraid of lawsuits?
i spent much of my twenties going on shidduch dates. by the time i turned thirty i decided that there has got to be a better way. so ive tried the dating websites and singles events. these venues have not yet found me my zivug , but at least i feel more in control of my destiny than when i solely relied on others to scope out my zivug.

would u date a blogger?

the blogosphere can be a fun social outlet . but what if this fantasy outlet of ours became reality? what then ? would you consider dating a blogger?


you read a blogger's blog if they have one. you read a bloggers comments if they are only a commenter. you get to know them a little. but is this really who they are? you only get to know the part of them that appears online. unless a blogger has an honest photo of him or herself online, you only get to know them as through their words. their words might only be an act. then again , if you meet someone in real life their words may be just as oscar worthy .



i do prefer to keep my blogging life separate from my real life (yes, there is a difference), but interacting with blogging singles has taught me a thing or two. there are some weirdos out there, and some who are immature, but there are also alot of thoughtful and insightful bloggers out there. i may never meet any of them in real life, but its nice to know they exist on the blogoshpere.

however the spirit moves you

i dont remember which year it was when i started hearing people chant "happy holidays" instead of "merry x-mas". im glad the change has taken over, even though when people say "happy holidays" they always seem to mean x-mas and goyeshe new year's and not Hanukkah. no matter, i still prefer deluding myself in to thinking that "happy holidays" includes "happy Hanukkah". its kind of like including your photo in your jdate or frumster profile, you get a "no thank you " letter and you assume its that they didnt like your profile when they probably just didnt like your photo. aint delusion grand.

when i say " happy holidays" this time of the year i mean "happy whatever holiday you happen to be celebrating". and if im totally honest, i have a little ethnocentrism and really think im wishing everyone a "happy Hanukkah" when i wish someone "happy holidays" .

..... HAPPY SECOND DAY OF HANUKKAH!

gelt vs gifts

some say Hanukkah gelt is more jewish than Hanukkah presents. i for one will be happy to accept both.

i wont pretend to know definitvely why this is , but i personally think that getting hannukah gelt is the same as getting a Hanukkah present. perhaps bubby and zaidy didnt know what to get the grandchildren for Hanukkah one year, so they settled on giving them a little gelt and thats how the whole tradition of Hanukkah gelt started!

is gelt more jewish because jews are greedy?

gelt is a gift because anything i have to write a thank -you note for recieving is a gift in my book.

perhaps Hanukkah gifts are exchanged due to the juxtposition of x-mas and Hanukkah. so the young-uns wouldnt get jealous. no matter. its not assur to exchange gifts on Hanukkah (although im sure some scroogey rebbe must think it is). if it is its a well kept secret. ( that hopefully will stay that way).

i wish all of my readers a happy Hanukkah, lots of gelt or gifts, whichever you prefer!!!

a rose by any other name...

one of my favorite shows is that seventies show. i always wondered what fez's real name was. i think i had missed the episode when he came to town , told everyone what his name was and then everyone decided to call him fez because no one could pronounce his real name. i can relate.
when i came to new york i found it really funny how people pronounce certain letters and insist that this is the proper way. the new york way isnt the proper way. newscasters always affect a midwestern accent because its easier to understand thank you very much.
when i first heard the last name kaufman pronounced 'cow f man' instead of 'cough man' i was really glad that kaufman isnt my last name. i realize that 'cow f man ' is the german pronunciation and is probably the "proper " pronunciation , but it just sounds so awful . and who wants to have a last name that has the word cow in it if its not necessary?
on 90210 the andrea character wanted her name pronounced 'ahndrea' instead of 'and rea'. and she was lucky because both are easily pronounced by her fellow californians. but what do u do when the pronunciation of your name is really difficult for the inhabitants of your new city to pronounce? what then? what happens when the way they pronounce your name sounds like nails on a chalk board? then what do u do? what do u do when they insist the way they say your name is the way it should be said? EXCUSE ME!! are you inferring that i dont know how to pronounce my own name, you of little intellect? i of course offer alternative pronunciations that arent as abhorrent to my ears. most people are cooperative. some arent. which is quite rude.
i really feel for those who have foreign names that no one can properly pronounce. thats even worse. at least some people are able to pronounce my name the way i like to hear it said.

the reader

tonight i saw the movie the reader , based on the novel by bernard schlink. i had attempted to read the book years ago, but it was rather slow moving. i couldnt get through it. the movie is quite riveting.

i saw the movie today upon the strong recommendation of a co-worker . fortunately i only vaguely knew the storyline before seeing the movie. i knew that it was the story of a much older woman having an affair with a much younger man (or shall i say boy, he was only 15 ) in postwar berlin. kate winslet is the older woman. david kross is the younger man. i got so caught up in their love affair, that the progression of the movie caught me by surprise. which im sure was the point.

i dont want to give anything away, but the movie deals with right and wrong and various levels of right and wrong.

ralph fiennes and lena olin shine as the supporting cast. kate winslet is chilling as a woman with a past. david kross' blue eyes alone speak words.

the movie is excellent.it is also quite disturbing. see it anyway. i dont want to give anything away,because i want you to be as swept away by the story as i was.

yummy pictures

i just downloaded some pictures from my new digital camera and i thought i would share them with you folks. enjoy.

older than the trees in the forest

when i was growing up my mom would always say that she was older than the trees in the forest. years later she said that she didnt really care if my siblings and i knew her age , its just that sometimes kids blab and she didnt want the whole world discussing her age.
my grandmother on the other hand had a different tactic. she was always 29. although at some point we kids figured out she couldnt be 29 if our dad was 33 (dad being a guy ,revealed his age). grandma looked good for over 29 , but she didnt look younger than my dad.
when i was in high school my mom came up with the concept of how she wouldnt mind attending my dad's high school reunion, but she didnt want to attend hers. she would look like "the young wife" at my dad's reunion, but at her own reunion the men's younger wives were younger than the women who had been in their graduating class.
as a kid i didnt quite grasp this concept, as an adult i do.
there was a gem of an episode on the john laroquette show where john went to a party and met a woman who appeared his age. when he asked her for her number she told him she didnt usually date men his age. this of course put poor john in a tailspin. he suddenly was looking in to plastic surgery. in the end the woman revealed her real age , which was significantly older than john. the woman had alot of work done which kept her well preserved.
years ago i met a shadchan who said that its okay to lie about ones age by two years because if someone found out the truth, two years wouldnt be a deal breaker.
one must be careful when lying about ones age. if you say you are 10 yrs younger than you are, you better look it. if you dont people will catch on. its probably better to say you are older. this way you will look great. if you are really 30 but say you are 40 , everyone will say"gee, he looks really great for forty!" if you are really 30 and say you are 25, but you look every inch like you are 30, you arent doing yourself any favors.
as for me... well.. im older than the trees in the forest, and thats my final answer!!!

seatless subway cars

i heard the most awful news a few days ago. i heard that they want to eliminate seats in subway cars during rush hour. they will make folding seats in the train and lock them during rush hour so no one can sit. i stand all day at work, so at the end of the day i am so tired i must sit. they say that only 4 out of 10 cars will be this way, but it stinks. in the current new subway cars there are less seats and less bars to hold on to . a few days ago i noticed that there is a bar on the ceiling for people to hold on to. well im 5 ft tall. i cant reach that. i think that people will start bringing portable seats or start sitting on the floor if this plan really goes in to effect. it seems so third world.

the thought of even more people on a rush hour subway car is frightening. more weirdos pressed against you. the current new subways have spaces in the front of some of the cars that are seatless with little place to hold on. whenever im on a crowded car my only solace is of the possibility of getting a seat. if the train is crowded the only place to be is sitting, otherwise its too claustrophobic. i have an hour commute. its really tough to have to stand the whole way. i think that if this is the wave of the future i may end up shelling out the extra dough for the express bus.

my question of course is what time of the day will be considered rush hour.... ?

i usually go to work at odd hours and avoid trains during rush hour.

seatless train rides would deter me from going to the city other than for work. the idea of standing an hour to get there and not being able to comfortably read a book or crochet is despicable. this is something that would make me leave the tri-state area.

i think that if there was a terrorist attack on the subway they would get to kill more people this way, and make it much harder to evacuate.

it seems so barbaric not to have seats on the subway.

hannukah fever

im really looking forward to hannukah. i love the latkes and lighting the menorah. i love the parties. i love receiving a little hannukah gelt. im not keen on the Israeli jelly donut.

as a kid i loved attending community hannukah parties , where they would give cute gift bags to all the kids. my favorite toy was those little dolls that would be in a bottle shaped like perfume and they would have the scent of tea rose.

my mom would save all of the prizes found in cereal boxes and make a grab bag during hannukah. this would cut down on fighting over who got the prize from the cereal box during the year. before my mom did this we would take turns getting the prize from the cereal box, but i think we would still bicker, so she decided to do the grab bag thing.

one hannukah i was at union square and the lubavitchers were playing music. an obviously non-jewish woman was prodding her non-jewish child to listen to the music. she said to him "its music, appreciate it" it was really cute. it was like being in an alternate world where hannukah is the holiday of the majority and x-mas is the holiday of the minority.

i like the fact that there are so many major department stores in ny that include hannukah in their holiday windows. im including a photo of a menorah that was in Bloomingdale's' holiday window december 2006.

you are so that type

a few weeks ago alot of blogs shared the link of the www.typealyzer.com . i actually checked it out and its quite cool. it tells you what kind of blogger you are (if you have a blog that is). anyway, look up this blog and check out what it says. type in other blogs and see what their "type" is. according to typealyzer, im a doer. which according to typealyzer is the active and playful type. they are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities.
the doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. they might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something something new than following it through. they might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.

hmmm..... well.... some of this is true. i actually have a job that is very action-filled that claims my full attention and focus. and i always like getting out , being social and taking advantage of what new york has to offer. i dont often sit home on a saturday night.

unbearable thoughts

its been a week since the attacks in mumbai and i am still disturbed by it. how it happened to the people of india as well as those murdered in the chabad house. i am also in awe of those firefighters who rescued people from the hotel in the taj mahal, even when they were instructed not to by their superiors. at great risk to their own safety they rescued 3oo people. i am equally in awe of sandra samuel the nanny who saved the baby of the slain chabad rabbi and his wife. equally miraculous is how this baby lived through this at all.

in the new york's jewish week rabbi menachem mendel nemes , a yeshiva teacher in crown heights was quoted as telling his students that" if this group can cause that much destruction in the world, imagine if that size group got together to do good deeds." this my friends is the truth . this is what is wrong with the world. so many pool their energies for evil instead of channeling them toward good. what an incredible world we would live in if only good was channeled instead of evil.

however... all is not lost. hatikvah-hope is in the essence of the jewish people. we must have hope that good will prevail over evil and that there will be total and complete shalom someday soon.... very soon...
as for those freaks of nature who say to the world "maybe now they will understand" when a terror attack happens to someone who isnt jewish "GET OVER YOURSELVES!!" its equally evil to revel in anyone suffering such a brutal attack. one should wish that peope learn compassion for terror victims in a peaceful manner, not by reveling in others misfortunes. i heard frummies say this after 9/11. to me they almost seemed happy. many jewish souls were lost during 9/11, yet they were happy to pontificate their mantra of "maybe now they will understand" . well folks, i surely dont understand. reveling in harm to others just "so they will understand" is childish and definitly not frum.

simply tsfat

this past thursday i heard the israeli breslover group simply tsfat perform. their music is truly uplifting. the first time i ever heard them was at the jcc in manhattan. they had the whole audience dancing . this past thursday was no exception.

simply tsfat should be performing in brooklyn tomorrow night at the jewish music cafe in park slope at 7 pm. i think that they are in baltimore this evening .

for those of you who wont be able to see them live,they do have some of their songs on itunes and they have some great cds. i have the cds new beginnings and never give up.

the world has been so topsy turvy lately. music is so uplifting.

december in nyc

one of my favorite pastimes is frequenting the holiday markets in nyc. now there are at least four locations where red and white booths are set up filled with many crafts and fun gift items. bryant park, columbus circle ,union square and grand central ( the only one that is indoors) . though some vendors frequent several of the markets, each location is unique and has its own aura.
though none of the markets are as cheap as amazing savings, there are some reasonably priced items to be found. the grand central holiday market is the most upscale, the other three are less so.
one of my favorite jewelry booths at union square is 3 fish. liat baum , the designer has some really funky and fun jewelry. semi-precious stones and sterling silver jewelry. im not sure how long this designer has been in business, but i do remember her booth at the 42nd street craft market years ago.
another favorite booth at union square and( once i saw them at columbus circle)is litchi accessories. they have an incredible variety of israeli jewlery. their specialty is israeli opal and israeli moonstone jewelry. they can be slightly pricey, although there is a range , and some stuff is reasonable. its fun just to check out the jewelry. its truly beautiful.
2 angels is another booth at union square with great stuff and a variety of prices. they also have a store on 67th street on the east side in manhattan.
alexia crawford and nemesis jewelry both started out at the holiday markets and the 42nd street craft market. together , alexia crawford and nemesis hit it big with laila rowe. when they were only doing the holiday markets and the craft market on 42nd street they had silver jewelry and semi-precious stones. nemesis had the most exquisite pendants .now laila rowe is mostly costume jewelry. though i miss their old inventory, i think its incredible that they hit it big with laila rowe.
the jewelry found in these markets are better than anything i might find at a department store, and many are whooping it up in these craft fairs right before they make it big and get their own store.
years ago there was an incredible booth at union square that sold handmade wooden clocks. they were alot of fun. unfortunately the woman who made them isnt there anymore. there is another booth that makes handmade wooden clocks and travel alarm clocks called pink cloud. this booth is in bryant park this year.
framed memories is a vendor at bryant park that has the most unusual picture frames. they feature action figures on the frame . some frames have action figures who look like they are viewing the picture in the frame. there is a frame with a flasher facing the frame. there are lots of romantic frames as well. a just married couple on the frame, a proposing couple on a frame, and a couple on a bridge. there is an adorable bud vase that looks like a glass tube left over from chemistry class with a cute couple on either side .
this year there is a booth at union square that sells solar powered flashlights and cell phone chargers as well as crank flashlights and radios. these are amazing items. no need to buy batteries. i remember the blackout in new york a few years ago. its nice to be prepared.
our name is mud usually has a booth at all of the markets. they have alot of jewish themed gifts , like latke platters and even matza platters.
hands for peace t-shirts that feature the hamsah are back at union square . they are quite unique. if the vendors know you are jewish they will show you the cool hebrew phrases and jewish symbolism in their t-shirts.
there are many more cool booths to check out at these markets, ill let you know when ive checked them out.
its especially fun going to these holiday markets as a jewish person. im mostly buying gifts for myself, or for others for the rest of the year. i do buy a few Hanukkah gifts, as well as holiday gifts for co-workers, but for the most part its just a time to enjoy looking at unique gifts and chatting with alot of fun and creative people.

beyond kosher....

often those who used to be frum ridicule the mitzvot because they feel they are so confining and archaic only to replace them with equally obscure rituals to replace them with. a campy old movie that demonstrates this issue is the imported bridegroom. the imported bridegroom is a movie about an american jewish family at the turn of the twentieth century. the father wants his daughter to marry a torah scholar who he imports from the old country. of course the daughter has no interest . she would prefer a doctor or a lawyer. eventually this bridegroom metamorphoses and pseudo- Americanizes. instead of remaining a talmudic scholar, he becomes a philosophy scholar.
some trade kashrut for veganism. they feel kashrut is archaic, so they trade it for the more limiting veganism. while vegetarians dont eat meat , and are often in to animal rights, a vegan takes it the extra mile and doesnt eat any animal or being by product. no eggs, dairy or honey (a bee-ing product). i lack the convictions of a vegatarian, but i can understand why they might not want to eat an animal. i dont understand the need to limit animal by products or the concept of insect abuse. vegans dont eat honey because they feel it harms bees??? this is beyond kashrut, and possibly an advertisement for kashrut. kashrut isnt as limiting.
of course , go tell a newly converted vegan this!! perhaps its the thrill of individualism that sparks these food fetishes more than idealism. after all , a major reason for kashrut is to keep us jews separate so our goiyeshe neighbors wont come for dinner that might lead them to marry our jewish daughters.

being thankful

this week heralds in the secular american holiday of thanksgiving. my family, being modern orthodox, always celebrated thanksgiving. ive always enjoyed watching the parade on tv and getting together for a big family meal that was able to include guests who were not necessarily in walking distance.

i am thankful to be in this country. my family arrived in the united states not long after a major pogrom in kishinev and not without one of my grandmothers getting shot in the face as an eleven-year-old during a pogrom. im grateful, that b"h , bli eyin harah, i have never had to experience such horrors. america is not the promised land, but it has been a haven for many jews as well as many other beleaguered individuals. i believe in having hakaras hatov.

im going away for thanksgiving starting tomorrow, so i probably wont have time to blog until next week. until then, have a happy and healthy thanksgiving for those who are celebrating.

cool jews

there's a new book out called cool jew by lisa klug. i find the title kind of funny because though i love being jewish , i dont think being jewish equals cool. i guess that was the idea of the book. to make jewish people feel they too are cool.

though i have only flipped through the book, i dont find the book to be all that original. there are several kitschy jewish books around like judaikitsch by jennifer and victoria traig and jewish holiday fun by barbara rushkoff. lisa klug is the only orthodox jew who has written this type of book.

thursday there was a book reading of cool jew at the jcc, which included several performance artists lisa klug knew. though the author read excerpts from the book, i think that these kitschy concepts are more fun to read on paper, than heard .

the musical performances and comedy acts were quite special. the book reading / artist showcase lasted about 2hrs. and it was FREE. very cool.

the most standout singers at the event were michelle citrin and chana rothman. both are dynamic and have excellent voices. yisroel campbell , comedian and convert to judaism was hysterically funny.

its always fun to check out who attends a jewish event. there was a mix of religious and non-religous jews as well as a mix of ages. i suspect many of the performers friends populated the audience.

post elections

now that obama's pr superstars have achieved their goals, maybe they would like to be my advocates. they must have alot of time on their hands now. if only i had a pr team like that to help me find a husband....
anyhow... a girl can dream...

keep it real

since im originally from outside of the new york area i am always fascinated by new yorkers who say what they love about new yorkers is that they are so "real" . and real usually means that they bypass being polite and thus "tell it like it is" whatever that means.
i can tell you one thing, working in a job that is very customer service oriented i appreciate it when people put up the facade of being friendly . sometimes it makes all of the difference. believe me , i dont want these people to act like their real selves . their real selves suck.
speaking without thinking isnt keeping it real, its just being foolish.
alot of the time new yorkers are suspicious of ulterior motives when non-new yorkers are nice because they think that this is the only reason anyone would be nice instead of the status quo bitchy.
i think that the world would be a better place if people would just try to be friendly to each other even if thats not their true nature. if one pretends to be friendly long enough, it might eventually become genuine.

dangerous liasons???

over the years ive been a guest at many shabbos meals. one thing that i have found quite curious is how often the husbands are much friendlier than the wives. and i NEVER flirt with married men, so this is not why the married women arent as friendly. i always find this phenomenon quite odd. these wives were definitely schooled in the bais yaakov cosmetology program, so they definitely outdo me in the makeup application department. besides, im not interested in married men.
i live in an apartment building with many couples. often the men are friendlier than the wives. are married women threatened by single women? or is it that the married men enjoy the safety of chatting up a single woman while they are married, but the wives have no reason to chat with a single woman?
there is no purpose to flirting with a married man. ive got enough tzuris, i dont need more. id rather get that positive feedback from the usual cute , much younger singleton. it might be a dead end prospect as well, but no one else is being hurt in the process.

the joys of blogging

i enjoy blogging because ive always enjoyed creative writing. blogging is creative writing with a twist. you get to write your thoughts and get published, and get instant feedback.
its interesting to write as well as read other people's blogs. its great to see the readership grow via my sitemeter, but its also nice to just be writing. whoever reads my blog reads my blog and hopefully enjoys it.
i also know that it takes awhile for people to find a blog. some bloggers start blogging and immediately have a huge readership and for others it takes longer to catch on. whatever. its not like there's a fee to keep this blog up. so whoever reads it reads it whoever doesnt its their loss. i enjoy sharing my views with whoever is willing to listen. i enjoy reading the comments.
have a great shabbos!

chance

i normally like men who are in my general age range . i dont usually date men ten years older . well , tonight , against my better judgement, i had a date with a guy ten years older. my friend who set me up with him looks young , and she had dated him , so i thought he couldnt be that bad. well ... it wasnt that great either. he was an interesting chap, but the age thing really bothered me.
after the date, i thought i was going to burst in to tears. dates like these are really depressing. they make me feel like im never going to get married. like this is all thats out there and the joke's on me.
better luck next time.

srugim, the little traitor,and the debt

i have seen three more films at the israeli film festival. first on the agenda is srugim. its about modern orthodox singles in yerushalayim . very cute. it reminded me of my life . especially the communal shabbat meals . they even included a speed dating scene.
srugim is a tv series in israel. they showed three episodes at the festival. it just goes to show that no matter where you are being frum and single is the same. israel, america , etc. its nice to see israeli everyday life.
the next movie i saw was the little traitor. this is film set in 1947 israel . most of the movie is in english. the story is of a little boy, son of polish jewish survivors, who befriends a british soldier during this time. alfred molina plays the british soldier. it is a really charming story.
the last movie i saw was the debt. it was well done, but im not really a big fan of gory blood and guts stories so it wasnt really my favorite. its the story of 3 mossad agents seeking out a nazi war criminal for trial.gila almagor, first lady of israeli film , is the star of the show. for this alone its worth seeing, but otherwise, skip it if you arent a fan of csi, nypdblue, etc.
this year's festival had the best selections in several years. i always enjoy the israeli film festival, but overall, this year had the best collection of films. usually there are one or two that i like, but this year there i liked several. my favorite film of this year's festival was lost islands. though i really enjoyed the little traitor, the secrets, and srugim, lost islands is by far the best. if someone can only see one film, see lost islands. the festival will be travelling next to miami, so hear this floridians, if you can only see one movie at this year's israeli film festival, see lost islands. you wont be sorry!!!

the numbers game

several years ago i took an acting class at makor . there was a fun game that we would play. we would all close our eyes. someone would start with the number one and someone else would say two and we'd try to see how high we could count to. if two people would say the same number at the same time we would have to begin again. it was quite fascinating. even with one's eyes closed one can be in tune to the social cues of who should speak next. we actually were able to get up to the number seventy or so and there were about twenty students. i think that this game would be amazing to play for people who constantly interrupt others . although , im not sure they would even understand the rules of the game.

lost islands

i attended the israeli film festival last evening and i saw lost islands. it was an amazing film. its a movie about a family with five sons in the early 1980's . they feature many great american songs from that era. the whole family sings the song tainted love as well as the theme song from the love boat. there's a wedding in the movie and they dance to the hustle. what nostalgia!!
the two main characters are twins who both vie for the same girl. one twin is the bookish type and the other is a hot sephardic stud with beautiful blue eyes. the film shows how no one is all good or all bad. erez is a goody -goody who made some bad choices and ofer is a sensitive hottie who takes charge when tragedy befalls his family . the scenes of ofer taking care of his family are most touching.
i dont want to give away the whole movie, so definitely go see it. if you cant catch it at the israeli film festival it will mostly likely show up at the quad ,the jcc, film forum , the angelica , Lincoln plaza cinemas etc at some point. if its a well received movie it will. at some point.

unwanted advice

the worst kind of advice is that of the unwanted variety. unless i think the other person will be receptive to what im telling him or her , i hold my tongue. no one likes criticism , including myself. unsolicited advice can ruin friendships.
when giving unsolicited advice to a friend, its best to be brief and calm. dont run down a litany of misdeeds. unless of course one is looking to say goodbye to that friendship.
and of course many can dish out unsolicited " advice" , but cant take the heat. if you can dish it out you better be able to take it. after all , it works both ways.
ultimately the only person one can truly change is oneself. but we all know this....
so much for unwanted advice!!!

noise pollution

on my train ride home tonight i was treated to an assault of my eardrums by 4 pro-obama african american youths. the youths were rapping at the top of their lungs how happy they were that their homey won. when asked to hold it down 10 decibels , they decided to get even louder. if this is what the next 4 years look like... im going to have to invest in state of the art earplugs.

old fashioned voting booths

when i was a kid i used to go to the polls with my mother when she voted. i remembered really digging those old fashioned voting booths with the curtains . by the time i registered to vote they got rid of them where i grew up and replaced them with the punch cards with the chads etc...
when i finally registered to vote in nyc , i was able to live out my childhood dream of voting in the old fashioned voting booths of my youth. in new york they still have the old fashioned voting booths with the privacy curtain. when voting in the old fashioned booths you push a lever which puts an x by the candidate's name and if you accidentally x'd the wrong candidate you can un-ex your selection, and later x the one you really wanted all before moving the voting lever to the left to place your vote.
after the election in 2000 we learned that technology isnt always better. long lived the dinosaur voting booths in nyc!!!

the women's minyan

i just read naomi ragen's play the women's minyan. despite the controversial title, it was more sad than controversial. it was a play about divorce and spousal abuse in the haredi community in israel . often when haredi women want to divorce their husbands the husband ends up with the children. or at least according to this play. i dont really know what the truth is. i do believe that a woman leaving her husband due to spousal abuse would be courageous in a community that shuns psychological help and doesnt always admit it needs psychological help. to admit there was spousal abuse in a family would be too open and that would prevent many from seeking help. in general abused women often stay in abusive relationships longer than they should.
divorce in general can deprive both men and women of their children. sometimes people stay in relationships far too long for this alone.
the issues raised in this play certainly are food for thought and hopefully a catalyst for change.

the israeli film festival

its that time of year again. its the israeli film festival. its being held in nyc through november 13 and it started october 29. this year its being screened at the clearview cinema on 62nd and broadway. this year seems to be a little more organized than last year. thank goodness. there was such chaos last year that i almost didnt want to come back this year. thankfully the staff at the clearview has been somewhat defanged and the ticket holders line moved smoothly.
i saw the controversial movie the secrets . the filmmaker avi nesher was there for a q&a after the screening.
the movie is about a young woman who decides to postpone her wedding after her mother dies to go to seminary . at the seminary she meets a free-spirited rebel and the trouble begins . surprise, surprise the two young women explore their sexuality together. why does a movie about independent frum women have to have them explore switching teams? despite this, i still thought that this was a good movie. though it tries to titillate a bit too much, it doesnt completely demean the orthodox community either.
i plan to see a few more of the screenings at the festival. i plan on seeing srugim which is about modern orthodox singles in israel. just up my alley. ill let you know if i like it....

marcia, marcia, marcia !!!

i just finished reading maureen mccormick's memoir here's the story: surviving marcia brady and finding my true voice. all i can say is wow! she's experienced more in a lifetime than 3 people put together!



the book begins with a little background about how her parents met, her beginnings in show biz , and her life as marcia brady. it was comforting to know how positive an experience the show was for her and how her castmates were like family. i once viewed a tv show about child stars which included eve plumb ( who played jan brady) and she didnt want to dwell on her work on the brady bunch , which was such a joke. why else would anyone be interested in her?


back to marcia (marcia, marcia , marcia) . though maureen mccormick came from a loving home, she soon became a cocaine addict after the brady bunch ended. she struggled with drugs for years, even sleeping with men for drugs, until she joined a church at the urging of her castmate jerry houser of the brady brides. at this church she eventually met her husband of 24 yrs. soon after meeting her husband she kicked her cocaine habit. finally at age 40 she finally got the psychological help she needed.
one fun fact is that when she was planning her wedding her mom heard that the club where they were to be holding the receptionat was anti-Semitic. since they had so many jews on the guest list her mom was very concerned. it turned out that the club was not anti-Semitic, but it was interesting to read about a catholic woman being concerned about holding her wedding reception at an anti-Semitic location.




what is so amazing about this book is how real maureen mccormick seems. she really opens up and lets everyone see what her thought processes were over the years. its a true story of triumph.

film vs digital

i adore photography. 6-7 yrs ago i took a photography course and i became even more hooked. we used a 35mm manual slr camera for the class . of course this was at the dawn of digital photography. recently i purchased a digital camera. ive taken pictures with it, but i havent printed any or put any on my computer yet. im not the most technologically advanced . i plan on taking a course on digital photography.
i have taken some good photos on my new digital camera, but i still think that my photos from my film camera are better.
im glad that i learned photography on a film camera because alot of the concepts can be applied to digital photography .
i admit its nice to have the instant gratification of previewing photos on a digital camera.the advantage of getting film developed is that i dont have to do any of the processing work.
time stops for no one, and neither does technology. they say its important - its fun to learn new things, but its also exhausting!
well... i m going to include a film photo i took when the gates were up in central park. soon i will be more technologically advanced and i will post digital photos. you can decide which you like better.

kippot

growing up the coolest yamakas were the crocheted ones. black leather ones were cool too because they looked like chocolate. i even liked the black velvet ones because velour was really "in" when i was in school.
however.... there was one yamaka was a badge of embarrassment for the wearer ... the four cornored polyester black yamaka given out at weddings , bar-mitzvahs and shuls to those who normally dont wear one. whoever wore these shameful skullcaps were proclaiming they were not religious and that wearing a head covering of this sort was not an everyday occurrence . other yamakas seemed like a natural extention of the wearer. not so with these. i have a friend who would call these polyester monstrosities " chocolate chip" yamakas because they were often black and they were pointy when worn , not unlike a chocolate chip. hence the nickname.
one subset of jews that have made the chocolate chip yamaka a fashion statement are syrian jews. they are the only jews (besides reform jews) who regularly wear these in brooklyn. i dont get it. how do such otherwise fashion conscious jews wear the chocolate chip yamaka as such a bold fashion statement?

shalom auslander

foreskin's lament came out in paperback, thus a great excuse to have another book reading at borders. after reading foreskin's lament i have wanted to see the author in person. in general i like meeting authors , and due to the content of his book, i especially wanted to meet shalom auslander.
well.... in person he is a little older than the photo on his book jacket. though i read the book, i was quite taken aback by how hardened he is. he told the audience that giving up judaism was like removing a tumor , but if you ask me it didnt really help him. he doesnt appear to be the relaxed, or at peace . he got rid of a tumor, or so he thinks. hes not a practicing jew in any way shape or form, but its not like this has made him a calm , happy , zen -like individual.
a woman who had been married to shalom's relative years ago, was at the book reading. she applauded his book and was so happy he had gotten out of the clutches of his abusive family. if you ask me, his deviant family is the reason he is ranting.
as usual, this book event proved to be an insightful affair.

modesty

years ago when brittany spears was breaking out of her "good girl" mode (i know its hard to remember) a co-worker of mine who had a daughter who was a brittany groupie and was very upset about brittany's more risque music videos. at that point her daughter was not to watch any more brittany spears videos.

another day, this same co-worker was outraged with the styles for children's clothing that were around. they were selling too many provocative styles for little girls.

during the low slung jeans and skirt phase many non-jewish co-workers of mine complained. who wants to wear something that shows your stomach when you have a big stomach? or in during the frigid weather of winter, how are these styles practical?

ive seen well-heeled rich ladies with daughters wearing jeans with their underwear showing and i wasnt the only one passing them on the street appalled.

if you knew me in real life you would know that i only wear skirts or dresses and do not go mixed swimming, but im not the poster girl for the tznius police either.

i believe that there is a concept of modesty, for society in general.

i think that bais yaakov must give a course on makeup application that i missed out on in the modern orthodox schools i attended. (im not sure how this fits in with this post, but ive been dying to rant about this , so im including it here)

modesty is more than long sleeves and long skirts. its about not being flashy or too sexy in personality and style of dress.
one doesnt have to be dowdy to be modest. example: katie couric: modest, paris hilton:immodest, princess diana: modest ,sara fergeson:modest, pamela anderson: immodest, madonna: immodest.
people choose to harp on tzniut in clothing because its easier to focus on than perfecting the actual midah of modesty. giving tzedakah without fanfare or holding a position of kavod without being haughty are much tougher than not wearing bluejeans. i aspire to reach the truest level of tzniut..... someday.

thank you

i would just like to post a public thank you to those families who open their homes for yom tov and shabbos meals. i specifically want to thank those who invite many singles every week. these individuals are so special. many who they invite are social deviants who would have no where to go and yet these families invite them with a full heart and make all of their guests feel welcome. i dont know how they do it. because these families invite such diverse company it can be overwhelming to be a guest if one is not eccentric. nonetheless it applaud the hosts. it is such a big mitzvah. the families who open their homes are not rich . they dont get funding to do hachnasos orchim . i am in awe of these families. i dont know that i could do what they do if i were married. im not sure i would have the patience. this is why i think that what these families are doing is so incredible.

the trophy

my great uncle had a trophy in his house. for years i saw it but never knew what it was for . eventually i heard the story of how it was won.

in 1928, when my great uncle was 23, there was a debate at the local jewish community center. the debate was whether or not the jewish communities of the united states should raise money to help the jews of europe come to america or should the jewish communities of the united states raise money to help the communities of europe live better in europe. my great uncle debated the side of raising money to bring the jews of europe over to the united states. my great uncle's side won. too bad the jewish communities of the united states did not abide by the outcome of this debate. it was 1928. if the yidden of 1928 america had raised money to help the jews of europe leave who knows how the course of history might have been? hindsight is twenty-twenty, but it is interesting to ponder. apparently the matzav of eastern europe was dire enough for a group of twenty-somethings at a jewish community center in the united states to debate in 1928.

and of course , i am proud to say that i had a great uncle who debated in the honor of trying to save the jews of europe , way before world war 2.

emunah

i give people alot of credit who have complete emunah that everything that hashem does is for the best. its not that i have zero faith, its just that i cant totally say that i always have complete and total faith that everything that happens is for the best. i realize that we as people dont always see the whole picture, but i really do have a hard time understanding how life can be so unfair sometimes.

post yom kippur blues

once i started working, i really started appreciating rosh hashanah and yom kippur. at least these are holidays most jewish people take off work for (even if its just one day for rosh hashanah) . once yom kippur is over you are really on your own. sukkos? what's that? did you make a mistake with your jewish holidays list? did u really think they'd believe you just wanted Columbus day off? after all there are those who say that Columbus was jewish. and then when you tell them about simchas torah... well how many jewish holidays are there?
my personal favorite was recently when two jewish co-workers asked me if shavuos was coming up soon and was i going to be taking off for that holiday as well. they do get points for knowing shavuos actually exists, so i had to let them down easy when i informed them that shavuos is 7 weeks after passover, not 2 weeks after rosh hashanah.
i used to feel funny being the sole frummie asking to take off for the jewish holidays, but at the same time i had felt fortunate it was just me.
with kashrus laws its best being the sole kashrus observer . this way there is no one who says they keep kosher but eat the non-kosher ,non-meat meals and goodies that appear in the office. then you dont have to explain to anyone why david cohenlevyyisroel is eating the non-hechshered cheese sandwiches and yet i wont.
its too bad that secular jews dont participate in sukkos/simchas torah. they are down for the more somber parts of being jewish and none of the fun. kind of like only attending family functions when there is a funeral , but never attending a familial wedding.
anyway, this is why i have those post-yom kippur blues. now im the sole frum jew in a sukkah-less desert of non-observers, paving the frontier for others like me.

secret ballot

imagine if the results of rosh hashana and yom kippur were public knowledge. what if at the end of shul there was a billboard will a list of whos tefilos were accepted. what if there was another list of the fates of every shul member for the rest of the year. it would definitely be interesting, but it would also be very anti- climactic for the good things that will be occurring. im not so sure that it would be good knowing if something bad was going to chas veshalom happen. too scary. it is best that one doesnt know for sure if one's prayers are accepted. if they werent accepted and one knew this one might do more teshuvah, but one also might not bother. one also might go in a downward spiral because one wouldnt think that any prayer would help or change an evil decree. i would definitely say its better to be delusional and assume that hashem has forgiven us and expect a good year.
apparently hashem thinks that the secret ballot system he employs is superior. otherwise it wouldn't be secret.
gmar chatima tovah and have an easy fast.

if you are single today do you truly believe you will get married?

the poll has ended. now for the truth my dear readers have revealed. only half of the respondents believe that they will marry. thirty percent solidly believe that they will never marry and the remaining twenty percent do not firmly believe either way that they will or will not marry. it just depends on the day.
its nice to see that so many still believe their bashert is out there. however, when thirty percent of those polled solidly say they dont believe they will ever marry , this is disturbing. i hear what they are saying. however, its is bold to actually admit, even in an anonymous venue. i would have thought that more would just be wishy - washy and say that their emunah depended on the day instead of a full out no i dont think i will ever marry. and yes, i would have thought only twenty percent would have thought they would never marry. i guess alot of people feel they are realists and therefore dont believe marriage will ever happen for them. perhaps im a fool in believing that i will get married. i would rather be that fool. it makes me feel better to be hopeful.

check this out...

i just read a comment on frum satire's blog post www.frumsatire.net/2008/10/05/shidduch-blog-carnival/ by future druggie and it was funny, but dead on true. ill repeat the comment here because i just totally love it

i'm a single jewish male,

hitting fifty-five,

yet i refuse to date

a girl over thirty-five.

i'm perfectly normal,

as normal as can be,

but i suffer from baby delusional syndrome,

a painful malady.

i'm going to be a daddy,

in my fantasy.

i would prefer to stay single

than face reality.

baby delusional syndrome

what am i going to do?

ive got to keep lying about my age

and my income, too.

im a single jewish male,

hitting fifty-six.....

by: future druggie

and there you have it. they wonder why there is a shidduch crisis....

no one gets exactly what they want, but meanwhile everyone expects that they will.

yom kippur

yom kippur, a holiday i dread , soon will be upon us. of course the foremost reason i dread it, is not necessarily the most noble. i most dread yom kippur because of the day long fast. the true reason to dread yom kippur is because its the day of atonement and we all hope that hashem will forgive us for all of our averos. although i guess i always have faith that hashem will forgive everyone for all of our sins every yom kippur. its funny, i may not have supreme emunah all of the time in regard to other issues, but for this issue, i do have faith. i always believe that there will be a better year this year than last year. it doesnt always happen that way, but im usually hopeful.
i guess its not so bad to dread yom kippur mostly because of the fasting. maybe this is the reason we have to fast. so we remember that yom kippur is day of to be awed, and if fear of fasting is what gives one this feeling then so be it. the way to man's heart is through his stomach, so then that makes alot of sense. we have to search our hearts to do sincere teshuvah and therefore we must be hungry on yom kippur to do this. ahhhh....

foodists

one day a few weeks ago i was doing my usual veggie shopping at the farmer's market in union square when i overheard a woman stating how glad she was that she was able to buy nightshade vegetables. when asked why she hadnt been able to purchase nightshade vegetables she replied that nightshade vegetables had been "out" when she had been living in l.a. oy vey. how someone could be so superficial to think of a vegetable as being "out" is beyond me . what could be "out" about an eggplant or a potato? what is this world coming to? littering , smoking cigarettes, noise pollution should be out , but a vegetable group?

shana tovah

as usual the holidays are almost here and im still trying to figure out where summer has gone. i always look at rosh hashanah as new beginning because aside from being a new year my birthday is at the end of elul .

im all for new beginnings and hopefully this year will bring all of us closer to realizing our hopes and dreams as well as being filled with health, happiness and peace of mind.

laundry rage!!

doing laundry is one of my most unfavored activities. consequently , i only do my laundry about once every 2 weeks.
there's something about going down to the underbelly of an apartment bldg to do laundry which unleashes hotheaded pettiness.
there is always the person who is upset that someone removed their clothing from a machine they had abandoned their clothing in three hours before. there are eccentrics who dole out unwanted advice on how long to leave ones clothing in the dryer. there are those who hover waiting for the next machine. there are those who rush to be able to use the "best " washer or dryer. there are those who are upset they cant use all ten machines in the laundrette at once because you are using a measly two machines.
as much as i hate doing laundry in the basement of my apt bldg, im still quite grateful i dont have to trek to a regular laundromat. they are even worse than the laundry room in my apt bldg

more facebook fun

lately my old college friends have reconnected via facebook. the only awkward part is when my friends have posted some of those gawky unflattering college photos which i would prefer to have been lost perhaps in a dumpster in zimbabwe. alas... no such luck. after blasting my friends for posting such embarrassments, i figured id exact my revenge . i posted my own fleet of college photos. once again the joke was on me. several of the old gang have had kids and have gotten fat and wrinkled and wish they looked as they had at 20. i on the other hand look much better now than i had at 20. i guess the only revenge i can wield is posting current photos of myself!!!

just friends...

is it possible to be just friends with a member of the opposite gender? i think so. however, its not such a simple answer. its possible for men and women to just be friends if neither has any romantic feelings toward the other individual. its also possible to be friends even if there is interest on one side but not the other's if the one with interest can accept that the other doesnt and may never ever show romantic interest .
however ... male/female friends are different than female/female friends and male/male friends. there is something about having a friend of the opposite gender that does fill the need of having attention from someone of the opposite gender even if one truly has no romantic interest in that individual. and to complicate things more, in order to have a romantic relationship with someone true friendship is essential. this is why male/ female just friendships can become so confusing sometimes. such friendships are totally possible and enjoyable , just sometimes need more definitive boundaries.

more on non-dating...

recently i met someone who i thought was a really great guy. i thought he had potential. it appeared he was interested. but alas... he had my number and never called.
yes i know that there were probably other things going on with him and that this is why he never called me. perhaps its just as well he never called because it might have turned out to be a really bad relationship.
never the less it sucks.

more thoughts on 9/11

on a more serious note than my last post, 9/11 was one of the most scary days of my life. i was actually already at work when the planes hit the world trade center. the smoke from the burning trade center could be seen all the way uptown for the next few days.
i was fortunate not to have been in downtown manhattan during the terrorist attack . just being in the city was traumatic enough. the planes that hit the trade center started from uptown moving toward downtown, meaning they had flown over where i was on its way...
there were continuous sirens for days. the warplanes overhead were un-nerving.
for the first time in my life i could understand what people with eating disorders mean when they say they have no appetite. i had no appetite. (of course it came back soon enough)
when i rode the train in to the city from brooklyn , i would make sure to look away when i was approaching the city. i didnt want to take a glimpse of the burning trade center.
for weeks and months i took pictures of the postings of the "missing" employees of the world trade center at the times square subway station and in union square. i photographed the makeshift memorials in union square.
it took me until november before i ventured over to ground zero to see the remains of the carnage. by then it was mostly just a big pit.
i think that the most awful part is though id been to the trade center many times, and had been there in july 2001 , the whole thing seemed so surreal. it was hard to believe that all was destroyed, even though id seen the ruins with my own eyes, had been in the city the day it happened, had seen it burning , smelled it burning.
whenever i pass ground zero i have tears in my eyes. its so sad. still. i know a few people who were in the world trade center during the attack and survived to tell the tale. i know others who lost siblings during the attack. i found out that one person's brother had died there when i was at grand central station reading the postings of the "missing" and spotted my friend's name as the contact in case his brother turned up.
every year the 9/11 memorial ceremony is the time of day when i videotape one of my soaps . i unwittingly tape some of the reading of the names. it still brings me to tears when i watch it. downtown manhattan is a graveyard. they are still recovering remains of the victims.
may we always remember those who perished on 9/11. and let it never happen again.

9/11

with the passage of time it seems that i spent less time memorializing 9/11 today than i had in previous years. in a way i think "how sad" , but in another way i think that its an important part of life to be able to separate a little bit from the pain of 9/11. its important to remember those who passed , but its also important to not let it paralyze one's self. its important to be able to get on with life. for myself, and for the memory of those who have passed.

hill 24 doesnt answer

hill 24 doesnt answer is considered the first movie made in israel after the state was established. its a movie about the israeli war of independence. its in black and white. its mostly in english. its an excellent movie even though the tone of the movie almost seems too melodramatic .

there is a scene in the movie where the israelis were trying to gain control of jeruslem and many were in misgav ladach hospital when the arabs gained control. right before the jews surrendered they sang im eshkachach yerushalayim. it was one of the most moving scenes.

its was also interesting how they featured an american jew who came to israel to fight in the war of independence.

also included was a scene where an israeli soldier captured a german soldier on the battlefield in israel and his internal struggle.

i saw this movie at the israeli film festival in nyc a few years ago.

hill 24 doesnt answer will be playing at the jcc in nyc on sunday september 14. perhaps this will spawn other showings throughout the country.